Bailey, my dog, gets excited whenever we go to the park and I take her ball with her. She wags her tail and stares at the ball, waiting for me to throw it. I love to play fetch with her, most of the time… she seems so amazed when I throw the ball…runs, prances to find it, grabs the gift eagerly and runs back to me and drops the ball….tail wagging and a smile on my face watching her joy.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t always “get” how to play fetch. I throw the ball and sometimes she starts running for it, gets distracted and wanders off to smell something. Maybe she noticed a bird, or squirrel, or found some obnoxious smell to roll around in, completely forgetting about the ball I’ve thrown. Sometimes she doesn’t see where the ball lands and just keeps looking all around, her nose to the ground, but misses it entirely. Other times she runs to get the ball..and simply stands still with the ball in her mouth looking at me as if she is saying…what now? …instead of returning the ball to me in order to have more fun.
God, I realize I am sometimes that way with your blessings. When I think about your love, the gift of Divine Love residing within me, I of course am excited…knowing that my relationship with you is the most important thing in my life. I hear you and see you at work in my life…and in the lives of others. I can receive Your blessings, take hold of them with joy and bring them back to you in the form of gratitude, praise, and sharing the blessing with others. Sharing your love with others. That is easy to do when the blessings are obvious…like spending time with family or seeing the beauty in your glorious creation.. or even a word you’ve given me to share as encouragement.
But other times, I look for your blessings, but get distracted by the noise of the world. The things I think I must do. The demands I put on myself or others put on me…. I get so immersed in this world, that I forget to even look for you within or without…I forget your presence in my life…and I go head strong into trying to create my own blessings. During those times, I am controlled by my own ego, my fears, and my desire to please others.
Other times, it is just hard to see you, experience you, or even know you exist. Thankfully, that doesn’t happen often anymore, but when it does, I feel lost. I don’t know what to do… I look and search for you, but all I see is pain, anxiety, disappointment, darkness During those times I sometimes want to hide or run….life seems too hard….too confusing. Fear or sadness seem to overtake me.
Other times, I experience you, and know you…but I hold on tight to your blessings, afraid they will leave, afraid that something will change and the blessings will be gone….. I grasp at what you’ve given me and instead of giving them back to you in the form of gratefulness and praise, I tighten my grip. When I am holding on like that, I can’t share your love with others, I can’t be Your light in the world, because I am shining the light only in my own life…Other times I accept your blessings, and try to take credit for them myself. Instead of giving you the glory, I pat myself on the back…
Open my eyes, open my heart, to see Your Blessings and Give You Glory.To Witness to the Love and Wonder of You. To Run back into your loving arms with an attitude of amazement and praise….so that your blessings will be shared, so that Your light will shine….that your blessings, light and love will be made manifest throughout the world… so your love in me will shine.